Thursday, August 6, 2009

Twitter Hype Machine - Give me a Break!

If Twitter ran for President of the United States last year, I have a feeling Obama would not have made the history he did. Twitter's PR department seems to have embraced and proven the observation of some perceptive figure in history who had noted that the bigger the lie, more readily people believed in it.

Her Royal Highness Queen Nur of Jordan has a Twitter account, she actually posts stuff so the rest of us can know how grateful she is to be married. His Highness, the Ruler of Dubai, Shaikh Mohammed has an account verified to be his (yeah, with a Twitter ID of HHShaikhMohammed). I am waiting for their press release that Michael Jackson has been Tweeting from the other side (Suggested Tweeter ID NDMichaelJackson for Now Deceased Michael Jackson). This last one would be really helpful, it would save California courts a lost of time and California taxpayers could use a break.

This morning Twitter's server went down (again). My reaction to this cataclysmic event:

This is yet another irrefutable proof of the fact that Twitter is the fastest growing company in the history of humans, apes, microbes and celebrities. Data center cables must have literally burst into flames and melted as a result of the heavy traffic to Twitter’s servers…needing liquid Nitrogen to control the imminent fire.

Northern Air Command (NORAD) must appeal the Armed Services Committee to buy Twitter more cryo-server farms so homeland security is not compromised.

The only down side to this outage is that the democracy movement in Iran will not be able to oust Ahmadinejad for another 48 hours. Oh, not to mention, Obama’s economic recovery is going to take a few days longer. Sigh! We hope there has been no impact on the timeline for the cure for cancer and AIDS. This certainly must have disrupted the routine of the 200 million malnourished humans around the world, imagine, having to wait for their tweets!

On a serious note, Twitter’s PR department must be away on summer break. I was shocked Bill Clinton did not attribute his success in bringing home the journalists to Twitter and he didn’t post tweets during his dinner with KJI.

Update: Obviously, I am not the first to have figured out this hype machine's amazing performance. However, as with any eventually starts to catch up with you.


Anonymous said...

hahaha... by far the best blog I have read in a long time!

With Titter down - I hard few tweets coming from the woods - people get some fresh air!

Anonymous said...

That little bird in my backyard finally tweeted today and I could hear her tweet!!!