Dear Brothers and Brothers

Imams Who Don't Care #3: Dear Brothers and Brothers

A unique challenge for many Muslims is to accord to women their rightful status - as defined by the Qur'an and the Sunnah - in society. Islam ordains that men and women are equal before God and in society. However, humans, in their imperfect implementation of this principle often swing to the two extreme ends of this spectrum.

To some, sadly, equality is achieved only when SAMEness is achieved - i.e. men and women dress the same, carry the same responsibilities, and do the same things. I say sadly, because this quickly becomes absurd. Some of the sameness can never be achieved because it is physically and biologically impossible. Men will never be able to breastfeed children or carry babies in their wombs (which do not exist). While Islam allows a woman to work outside the home, this distorted sense of equality now pressures all women to feel the need that they must work outside the home to feel equal.

The other extreme, equally sad, is the one we see more often in Muslim communities. People who sort of pay lip service to women's equal status but kind of wink and nod to a reality that is anything but. Books can be written to cite evidence for this bold assertion, but two simple examples ought to suffice for now - I see some comedy and tragedy in both:

1. Muslim Women as an Afterthought: In the last 40 years Muslims have built mosques around the United States. What amazes me is how badly designed most of these structures are. I know, I know, it's the spirituality that's more important and all that nonsense, but come on, if you're going to build a structure, please pay as much attention to it as you would to your own house in terms of functionality. The issue that receives LEAST attention is that of women's access to mosques. It's usually an afterthought. Here is how I think things really happen. The grand mosque gets built, nice dome and minaret and all, prayer rugs from Persia and Pakistan...and the inauguration day is approaching. Someone, then realizes "what about women - where are they going to pray?" The highly resourceful masjid secretary has a solution. "Hey, not to worry, we have a dark and damp basement!" If there is no basement, he usually runs to Office Depot and grabs a few pieces of cubicle furniture. Then, in the extreme corner of the masjid, the same resourceful brother, assisted by the rest of the executive committee, working together in perfect unity, installs the "Sisters' Prayer Area." Oh, the sign is quickly made too - the cover of a cardboard box is ripped, and using a matching color H1B pencil someone writes it all up and duct-tapes it at the entrance. Masjid budget: $2 million, 4 years of effort. Budget to find place for "Sisters": $125 and 35 minutes of effort.
   
   If you feel your brother here is exaggerating, visit the "National Masjid" in Washington, DC on Massachusetts Avenue.
   
   
2. The "Dear Brothers and Brothers" Imam: Some of our "Back Home Imams" and others who became Imams here but picked up a hardlined strain of the deen just can't come to accepting the fact that our daughters, sisters, wives and mothers choose to join us in prayers at the masjid. These Muslim women may be braving the dark, damp basement or relegated to a corner cubicle where jackets and the masjid cleaning supplies are kept, but the biggest insult they have experienced is when the Imam just cannot acknowledge their presence. I have known many such Imams - I call them the "Dear Brother and Brother Imams." You know how it goes, the Imam in addressing the congregation considers it a sin to refer to the congregation with the realistic "Dear Brothers and Sisters" - naah, can't utter the taboo word.
   
   If you feel I am exaggerating, maybe I am. So these Imams simply say "Dear Brothers" even as they know the presence of the fairer gender in the masjid, but bad, old habits, deep-rooted biases just can't bring them to acknowledging them.

I worry about this issue is for the following reason: We Muslims in America, and soon Muslims elsewhere in the world, won't be able to bluff our daughters, sisters, wives and mothers for too long. Bluff season is over. It's time to fully adopt Islam and shed our old, pre-Islamic tribal principles that we have held on to so tightly for so long, even if we feel very attached to them.

Dear brothers and brothers, let's start with building mosques that are every bit geared to also meet the needs of our women. And if you know they are in the audience, don't hesitate to make them feel welcome.

Burying Daughters Alive

Answer quickly: Under what special circumstances does Islamic Shari'ah make it legal for Muslim parents to bury their young daughters alive?

If you answered never, you are right.

The people of Makkah prior to the message of Islam condoned the the heinous custom of burying their daughters alive. Oh they had their reasons - girls consumed resources but didn't contribute economically. There was shame associated with anything wrong they would do. The tribes into which they married gained an upper hand, etc.

One of the earliest revelations that came to the Messenger of God provoked the early believers to reflect on this crime:

When the female child who was buried alive is asked for what crime she was killed. 81: 8-9

Islam forbid this custom forever. And this prohibition is absolute. No compromises. No special considerations. Nothing, absolutely nothing would justify or condone or accept or tolerate this monstrosity. And it is a monstrosity.

Islam forbid a few other crimes, some equally as heinous. Sadly, some Muslims want to bring those criminal and inhuman customs of jahiliyah back. Read on...

First, what do I mean by "special circumstances." Islamic Shari'ah has an incredibly flexibility built into it. A Muslim jurist is required to weigh all factors in a situation before issuing a ruling. While doing this, she or he must also prioritize and ensure the law is serving to better human condition. Consider an example: Pork is forbidden from a Muslim's diet. But if a Muslim faces starvation and pork is the only food available, the shari'ah does not hold the Muslim liable for consuming this food in order to survive. Human life has precedence over the piety of avoiding pork. Numerous other examples can be cited. This flexibility is a mark of our Lord's blessing and mercy upon us.

This flexibility is subject to judicial principles and not easily open to abuse. For instance, let us consider if there could be a situation under which parents may bury their little daughter alive. Say, if there was a famine when there was not enough food for everyone? The answer is an absolutely undisputed NO. What if the parents were convinced (for whatever reason) that their little girl may not be able to cope with the moral decadence of society and grow up to fall prey to its perversions? The answer is still no.

Why this inflexibility? Because God provides and God guides. Also because taking another's life is not a matter of personal choice. There are numerous principles vastly more powerful than the silly fear of food scarcity and moral decadence in the above example. I think all sane Muslims would agree with my analysis of this hypothetical question.

I am about to make a point. I believe a similar prohibition applies to terrorism. It is evident that Islam's prohibition on acts of violence is absolute. I feel some Muslims believe that if we have been wronged, we may resort to some form of violent retaliation. This perversion of our faith is sickening. It has besmirched the name of this great faith and continues to. I am still recovering from the filth of what happened in Mumbai. I am ashamed for what happened on 9/11. My heart bleeds that the curse of terrorism has befallen the community that was charged with inviting all to the "Straight Path." Oh how we have lost our way.

This prohibition is categorical. No excuses. Terrorism = Sin in Islam. Big sin.

I know what some of you are thinking. You are asking yourselves, this guy made a list of acts of terror by Muslims, how about acts of terror inflicted upon Muslims? I overheard someone at the mosque today "Muslims in India have suffered a lot, some of them were bound to lose it and become terrorists."

Look, I understand the human failing if "losing it" aka insanity. Anyone can lose it and commit crimes or acts of sin. The Pharao lost it and wanted all humans to worship him as God. But please don't tell me that my religion permits insanity and heinous crimes.

Surely Muslims are persecuted in many parts of the world. So are Christians, and Jews. Blacks in America have suffered centuries of oppression, humiliation to the point some generations were born, lived and died with very little of their humanity acknowledged. Yes the world isn't perfect.

But as standard bearers of the world's morals, you want to tell me that retaliation against oppression through random acts of terror is accepted, permitted or condoned in Islam, you are dead wrong. I will oppose you with every breath, and God willing, your false ideology will be defeated.

Islam forbids this perversion. And this prohibition was absolute. No compromises. No special considerations. Nothing, absolutely nothing would justify or condone or accept or tolerate this monstrosity called terrorism.